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This book may well be your first step toward a better life for your man, for yourself, and for your family. What could be more important than that?
From the Foreword by Terrence Real,
author of "I Don’t Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression"


Is He Depressed or What? will save a lot of marriages and a lot of lives.”
Frank S. Pittman III,
, author of
"Man Enough: Fathers, Sons and The Search For Masculinity"


Dr. David B. Wexler's latest book
is now available:

"Is He Depressed or What: What to Do When
the Man You Love Is Irritable, Moody, and Withdrawn

Four easy ways to purchase this book:

Is He Depressed or What? What to Do When the Man You Love Is Irritable, Moody, and Withdrawn"I don't know what's going on with him. Is he depressed or what?"

Millions of women ask themselves this same question every day. They wonder whether their husband’s or boyfriend’s short temper, tendency to withdraw, and mysterious physical complaints might be signs of some deeper problem. Is he depressed, they wonder, or what? The tricky part of recognizing male depression is that, very often, it doesn’t look like depression at all. Depressed guys often mask their depression with workaholism or substance abuse. Sometimes they withdraw from their relationships and lash out or lash out in defensive (and sometimes aggressive) ways.

If you think the man in your life is suffering from depression, this book can help you recognize his symptoms and help him in overcoming his depressed feelings. This book will also show you how to take care of yourself and not get lost in his depression. It provides a range of strategies you can use to communicate with him effectively, cope with his physical symptoms like insomnia and sexual dysfunction, and rebuild intimacy in your relationship. Ultimately, the book offers compassionate (if sometimes firm) advice to help you do what’s best for him, for you, and for your relationship.

Click here for a detailed description in PDF format.


  • Distinguishing between typical and “male-type” depression
  • The true nature of “male-type”depression
    • Discontent with self
    • Antagonistic and blaming others
    • Exaggerated behavior
    • Avoidance and escape
  • How to speak to the depressed man in your life in “male-friendly” language
  • The power of the “broken mirror” in relationships–and how this can contribute to depression
  • When to be compassionate and when to confront
  • Proven ways to set safe limits and take care of yourself in a relationship with a depressed man:
    • How to get the man in your life to seek help and to make the most of treatment
    • How depression affects your sexual relationship
    • How to generate the greatest antidepressant of all: genuine emotional intimacy


  1. Typical Depression: The Guy Who Looks Depressed
  2. Male-Type Depression: The Guy Who Doesn’t Look Depressed
  3. Connecting With A Depressed Guy
  4. Communicating With A Depressed Guy
  5. You Are Not A Punching Bag: Enabling
  6. Helping Him With Treatment: Psychological
  7. Helping Him With Treatment: Medication
  8. Intimacy Issues: Sexual and Emotional
  9. Guilt & Expectations
  10. Taking Care of Yourself
  11. Knowing When To Leave

Click here for a detailed description in PDF format.


David B. Wexler, Ph.D., is the founder and executive director of the Relationship Training Institute in San Diego, an organization designed to help relationships in conflict. The California Psychological Association has honored Dr. Wexler with the Distinguished Contribution to Psychology award. He is also the author of several books, including the ground-breaking When Good Men Behave Badly, as well as Domestic Violence 2000 and The Adolescent Self.

Dr. Wexler has been featured on the Dr. Phil show and the TODAY show, in the Washington Post, “O” magazine, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Men’s Health, and on dozens of radio and TV programs throughout North America to help educate the public about bringing out the best qualities in relationships.


Is He Depressed or What? is invaluable for anyone who is in a relationship with a depressed man. Wexler's style is approachable yet grounded in common sense. He balances giving the reader specific tools and strategies both for themselves and the person struggling with depression. I recommend it highly.”

Rosalind Wiseman
author of Queen Bees & Wannabees: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends, & Other Realities of Adolescence

David Wexler gives us a uniquely useful guide for the partners of depressed men, men whose symptoms may not include sadness and whose coping skills may not include talking about it. Dr. Wexler's descriptions of desperately hypermasculine "manhood attacks" will be particularly enlightening for the beleaguered, bewildered mates of men who turn mean or wild, and for the men themselves. Is He Depressed or What? will save a lot of marriages and a lot of lives.

Frank S. Pittman III, M.D.
author of Man Enough: Fathers, Sons and The Search For Masculinity




Relationship Training Institute
4036 Third Avenue
San Diego, CA 92103
619-296-8103  •  619-296-5027 fax
General Information:
Contact David B. Wexler:

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