Dr. Wexler provides insight and perspective on relationship issues in his new blog for Psychology Today.
Rules for Respectful Break-Ups
Posted July 3, 2026
Key points
Break-ups are going to hurt, no matter what—but some ways of handling them are better than others.
Be clear. Be direct. Be respectful.
Remember this is someone you have loved once—and you don't want to inflict any more harm than you have to.
First of all, any advice on this matter should come with a warning label that says, "not guaranteed to work." These tips might help, and they usually do help, but there is such an unavoidable emotional intensity that comes with the territory of relationship breakups that there may be no way to manage it just right.
Why You Should Keep "But" Out of Your Apology-
Consider these relationship-saving tips for apologies—and learn what to avoid
Posted May 14, 2026
Key points
Apologies are for what you have done, so don't try to sneak in complaints about the other person.
It's not only about you. Communicating empathy for damage done to the other person is crucial.
Don't expect anything in return. It's not their job to forgive until they are good and ready, if at all.
Is Your Therapist a Narcissist?
Posted February 8, 2026
Key points
Your therapist gets a lot out of the work with you—but that's a fringe benefit, not the purpose.
When your therapist draws attention to themselves and needs you as their audience, it is narcissism.
Your therapy time belongs to you and not to the therapist.
Here’s a secret about the psychological life of a psychotherapist: your therapist gets a lot of psychological needs met through their clients. Your therapist typically experiences intimacy, attachment, and connection. They (usually) feel valued and appreciated. They (usually) experience a sense of purpose.
9 Things Not to Say When Someone is Upset
Posted June 5, 2025
Key points
Use the Platinum Rule: "Do unto others as they would like done unto them"—not necessarily what you'd want.
Even when you are well-intentioned, there are many things you can do wrong when a loved one is upset.
When in doubt about how to respond, ask.
The Comfort of "I Know You Love Me" at a Relationship's End
Posted February 22, 2025
Key points
The loss of "the look of love" can wound us more than all the other losses when we break up.
If you still feel loved and valued by your ex, celebrate what you still have.
Try not to search forever for a positive mirror from someone who may never be able to offer it again.
Boost Your Intimacy
Posted November 13, 2024
Key points
The loss of "the look of love" can wound us more than all the other losses when we break up.
If you still feel loved and valued by your ex, celebrate what you still have.
Try not to search forever for a positive mirror from someone who may never be able to offer it again.
Change Your Self, Change Your Teen
Posted September 21, 2024
Key points
The stories parents tell themselves about their teen have power.
Teens may say that what their parents think means nothing to them, but they're usually lying.
The grounded parent doesn't need their teen to validate their self-worth—and the teen will be better off.
13 Ways to Be the Best Man You Can Be
Posted August 19, 2024
Key points
"Toxic masculinity" was intended to describe rigid and outdated norms of masculinity, not all masculinity.
Men can still strive to be masculine without being "toxic"; the guidelines below can help.
Even when you have messed up, try to keep seeing yourself as a “good man behaving badly."